this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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