are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
