I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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