they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Come see our sink grown plant.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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