it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
