I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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