it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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