Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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