90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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