new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
operation harelip BJ is a go
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
