i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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