I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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