Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You ruined the universe
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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