The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
