Nicole vs. Life
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
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a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
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We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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