we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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