It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
