Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
