she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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