So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize