I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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