I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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