your room smells of hookers.
And success
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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