Me too!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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