it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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