I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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