I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize