i think my tv is drunk
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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