Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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