I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
