Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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