How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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