shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
