About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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