is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
