How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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