this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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