so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
