I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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