If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
