was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
