we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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