drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
