if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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