I saw his package. It spoke to me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
