So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
