no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize