No stitches, just platelets and will power
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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