She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
