"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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