You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
