Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
