happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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