this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
