how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
