My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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