They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
