hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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