Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
