Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
