hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
