i barfeds in our rink
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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