is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
