Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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