Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
