happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
