Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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