I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
