turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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